Alright, I am just gonna say it… EVERYONE—and I mean EVERYONE—deals with a sex problem at least once in their life. Whether it be a loss of libido, communication struggles, feeling disconnected from one’s pleasure, sexual trauma, inability to develop and maintain an erection, body image issues, etc.—the list goes on. It is a topic that everyone will struggle with at some point, yet almost nobody talks about it in a helpful or constructive manner. The topic still makes so many uncomfortable, which further perpetuates the feeling that having sexual concerns is “weird” or “uncommon”—which could not be farther from the truth!

Sometimes these discomforts can be so strong that even talking about having great sex can be particularly triggering for some. The topic, in general, can feel so heavy that it creates a barrier for people to seek the support they need to have the best sex of their life! Which, in my opinion, EVERYONE DESERVES TO!

Here’s a funny little story— I was working at a sex shop when a gay couple walked in. I asked them what they needed help with. One of the guys said with a straight face, “I’m getting condoms so that I can fuck him in the ass later.”

“Amazing!” I replied. “Are you allergic to latex?”

He was STUNNED that I didn’t even flinch. I was genuinely trying to help him on his quest, which to me, sounded like a blast!

When I rang him up, he told me that he had never felt so comfortable at a sex shop before. All of his questions were answered, and he left with a bottle of lube and high-quality condoms to have a fun night with his boo. My work here was done!

So, if you’re having sexual concerns or are just curious about what else is out there, here are 20 ways that working with a Pleasure Coach can transform your relationship with intimacy.

It Normalizes Your Experience 

One of my absolute favorite things about being a Pleasure Coach is that I get to normalize talking about sex with my clients. Think about it, with me, you can talk about almost ANYTHING that relates to your deepest desires. Your kinks, your fantasies, your dislikes, your sexual wisdom etc. This is a safe and open space to allow yourself to speak FREELY and OPENLY. Soon enough, the topic of sexual health begins to roll off your tongue.

You Practice With Your Coach FIRST 

Now, I don't mean on a physical level... don't get all excited now. I mean that with your coach, you can talk about whatever you are interested in and your emotions without the fear of judgement or hurting anyone. You are able to practice with your coach before you take your newfound knowledge into your relationships. Having a practice run can be super supportive and set you up for success!

All of Your Questions Get Answered 

In this day and age, it is so hard to get a straight answer on anything, especially sexual health. What condoms should I wear? Can I have sex on my period? Is my sex life normal? All of these questions can be answered for you in coaching. You get to discover more and more about you, your partner, have more compassion towards yourself and others, and share a deeper connection because of it.

You Become More Confident 

Confidence as I define it is doing something that is uncomfortable a million times until it becomes comfortable. Once you have gained that comfort, you get experience. That experience then turns into CONFIDENCE. Doing scary things with a coach's guidance can give you the power you need to move forward. As we work together, you will feel your insecurity lessen and your happiness and confidence grow!

The Confidence You Gain Bleeds Into Other Areas of Your Life 

This is so freaking cool! When you begin to dominate your sex life, you can literally dominate any area of your life. Once you can embrace your truth, and stay focused on the parts of you that you love, you become a power house for anything else in life! Often times what is missing inside of the bedroom, is also missing outside of the bedroom. Imagine being able to dominate challenging work meetings, hard family gatherings, or feel more secure about yourself in general. This helps all areas of your life.

Your Relationship Quality Improves 

As you continue to discover more about yourself, your boundaries become stronger, your wisdom grows, and your energy becomes more pure. You know what you want. You know what you desire and you GO AFTER IT. The lover you desire will appear because we do not attract what we want, we attract WHO WE ARE. As you develop and grow, the person you become will deepen intimacy with someone like-minded which in turn makes your relationships better all around.

It Opens Your Mind to New Opportunities

You can only experience passion when you are comfortable to do so. The sexual empowerment journey allows you to expand your world with new opportunities to explore what you perhaps weren't allowing yourself to do before. Taking your sexuality to the next level! Playing with sight, sound, smell, all of the senses. Listening to audios that intrigue you. Maybe even developing fun and exciting pleasure practices that take you out of your comfort zone! Whatever it may be, you will be ready and available to venture into it!

Your Emotional Capacity Increases 

I have learned in my coaching that women have been conditioned to be emotional/sexless beings while men have been conditioned to being sexual/emotionless beings, creating a disconnect in how heterosexual couples connect. When you work with a coach, it can help all parties express themselves better to reach a deeper understanding of one another thus increasing your emotional connection and capacity which in turn, deepens your intimacy.

Sexual Shame Vanishes

Shame is that icky feeling of BEING wrong. Working on guided practices with a Pleasure Coach increases your self love, sexual pleasure, and ability to even talk about sex. Shame goes away when we confront it, talk about it with our partner, and let go of negative experience from the past. There is no room for shame in sexuality!

You Become More Curious

Thinking outside of the box when it comes to sex can be so much fun! As I always say, sex is not an act, it is an energy! When you deeply accept that energy, it can enhance your curiosity for more. Your mind will start to wonder... what else is out there? How else can I experience pleasure? And the coolest part of it all is that you'll have the tools to do so!

Your Communication Skills Improve

Communication is hands down the most important part of having a healthy sex life. Developing the tools to be able to express yourself with your partner is key to having a fulfilling intimate experience. Communication increases compassion, deeply supports your understanding of one another, and will expand your sexual repertoire. Sharing how you feel, more about your sexuality, and describing how you like to experience pleasure will ensure that you and your partner are a good fit on a sexual level.

Your Orgasms Become Stronger 

Pleasure practices developed during coaching, learning more about sex at your own pace, engaging in masturbation moments on your own time, and taking more of a lead on your sexual desires can only enhance your pleasure! The more comfortable you are, the more natural it feels, the more pleasure makes its home in your life. The more pleasure you feel, the stronger your climax. Intimacy becomes something you look forward to! Because the climaxes you are creating on this journey are top tier!

You Learn To Accept Yourself on a Deeper Level 

The art of self acceptance comes from obtaining a large amount of self-knowledge. When you know more about you, it becomes easier to accept who you are as a sexual being. You start to realize that you can get what you deserve! That you can explore safely! That the passion you desire is OK! You don't have to judge yourself any longer. You can embrace it, accept it, and celebrate it!

You Go From Being a Passive Participant to Being an Active One

Many of my clients (especially women) have told me that they often feel like sex is something that is happening to them, instead of something that they have a say in. When they engage, they don't tell their partner what they want, their deepest desires, or how to make them experience more pleasure. So without that guidance to their body, they are constantly left feeling sexually disappointed. When you take charge, say what you want, and ensure that you get it, you are now co-creating a kick-ass pleasure filled moment with you and your lover! This is truly the only way. Ya gotta speak up! A closed mouth does not get fed!

Sex Feels Better

To the point previous to this one, sex can only be better when you say what you desire and ensure you get it. A Pleasure Coach gives you the support you need to explore your sexual curiosities and express them confidently with anyone you engage with. As a result, sex just gets better!

You Learn More About Who You Are Sexually 

There are so many nuances to our sexuality. Let me tell you a story. I had a client who couldn't stand behind positions, but her partner loved them! I asked her if she was open to trying them out and if so, what she would need to experience pleasure in them. She thought about it and said that if her partner was more sweet through it, she would feel more pleasure instead of anxiety. He agreed that he could do that and so they tried and loved it! They both got what they wanted, had that mutual support, and were able to explore something new together! The more she learned about herself, the better she was at delivering something that felt great for both of them.

You Connect With Your Body Deeply 

When you explore your sexuality, your connection to your body becomes almost second nature. You're able to sense when you feel pleasure, stress, or anything else that comes up for you. This connection can lead you to be attuned with what is happening inside of you, speak up when you don't like something, and speak up louder when you do! You no longer engage in acts that do not give you pleasure. You only do the ones that do because you know which they according to your body cues.

You Are Able to Support Others!

When you and grow in the realm of sex, you become a beacon of light and support for those around you. Imagine your friends coming to you when they are in need. Wouldn't it feel great to work together to help them? The support system becomes a snowball effect!

You Stop Putting Up With Sh**

Through the practices and tools you gain from your coach (me jeje), you quite literally just STOP accepting less than what you know you deserve. Pleasure is your priority. Healthy relationships are your priority. Joy is your priority. Connection is your priority. Anything less than this, can go bye bye from your life!

You Experience More Joy

This one is my FAVORITE! When you work with a Pleasure Coach (bonus points if you're in therapy too!), you just feel more joy. Your confidence, excitement, and self-love leads you to having a BOMB ASS life where JOY becomes your non-negotiable. Pretty darn cool, right? You deserve to feel all of the joy you desire in this life!

I hope that this blog allowed you to understand all of the beautiful ways that a Pleasure Coach can help you transform your relationship with intimacy to lead a better quality of life. It is up to you to do the work, but having support on your corner can only do you good! I look forward to meeting you and supporting you on this journey!