January 2025 marks a milestone I’m incredibly proud of—my 5th year anniversary as a coach! What a beautiful, challenging, and deeply fulfilling journey it has been. My mission has always been clear: to support as many people as possible in unlocking the vibrant, pleasure-filled intimate lives they deserve. It’s about helping individuals and couples feel confident in their skin, experience stronger orgasms, and embrace a sense of joy and self-worth that radiates through every aspect of their lives.

Fuck shame. Fuck inhibitions. Every single human being has the right to a happy, healthy, and empowered intimate life—both with themselves and their partners. That belief fuels everything I do, from one-on-one coaching sessions to group programs and even those vulnerable, raw conversations I share online.

When I started my journey as a sex and intimacy coach, I had no idea how profoundly it would transform me. It’s not just about what I’ve helped others achieve—it’s also about how deeply this work has shaped my understanding of people, relationships, and, most importantly, myself.

Growing up in a conservative Catholic household, I was immersed in a culture of guilt and suppression when it came to sexuality. For years, I grappled with layers of shame and confusion about my desires, my body, and what it meant to feel pleasure without guilt. That inner struggle was both painful and isolating, but ultimately, it became the catalyst for the work I do today. It’s why I’m so passionate about helping others unlearn the harmful narratives that keep them from experiencing the fullness of their sexual selves.

Now, five years into coaching, I’ve had the honor of working with over 100 individuals and couples, guiding them to rediscover their sexual essence and transform their relationships with their bodies, partners, and desires. I’ve learned so much through this work—not just about others, but also about resilience, growth, and the infinite ways we can find connection and intimacy.

So today, I want to celebrate by sharing the nine most important life lessons I’ve learned throughout this journey. These lessons extend far beyond the bedroom and into the very core of what it means to live a connected, authentic, and fulfilling life. Whether you’re navigating your own path to self-discovery or simply curious about the intersections of intimacy and growth, I hope these lessons resonate with you as deeply as they’ve shaped me. Let’s dive in.

1. Struggling with Your Inner Critic Is a Basic Part of the Human Experience

No matter who you are or what you’ve achieved, the inner critic has a way of creeping in. I see this time and time again with my clients: people who are accomplished in their careers, beloved in their communities, or deeply empathetic still wrestle with feelings of inadequacy.

For me, this voice showed up loud and clear when I first stepped into the role of a sex coach. I questioned if I was qualified enough or if anyone would take me seriously. Over time, I realized that the voice of the inner critic doesn’t reflect the truth—it’s simply a manifestation of fear.

Helping clients recognize their own inner critics has been transformative. The truth is, struggling with that voice is universal, but learning to challenge and quiet it is where true growth begins.

2. Most Problems Are in Your Head

Let me clarify: this doesn’t mean your struggles aren’t real. What I’ve found is that most of the barriers my clients face—whether it’s about body image, sexual confidence, or relationship dynamics—stem from the stories they tell themselves.

I’ve worked with clients who’ve believed their partners found them unattractive, only to discover through open communication that the issue wasn’t their partner at all—it was their own self-perception. Similarly, I’ve supported individuals who felt disconnected from their desires because they believed those desires were “wrong” or “weird.”

Shifting those narratives takes courage, but it’s worth it. The way you think about your life, your relationships, and your sexuality often determines how fulfilling they become.

3. Confidence Comes from Doing Scary Things Until They’re Not Scary Anymore

One of the biggest misconceptions about confidence is that it’s something you either have or don’t. The truth? Confidence is a skill you build by consistently stepping outside of your comfort zone.

For me, this looked like leading workshops on topics that once made me blush or guiding clients through exercises that pushed me to grow alongside them. For my clients, it often looks like initiating vulnerable conversations with their partners or exploring new facets of their sexuality. Each time you do something that scares you, it loses its power, and you gain a little more confidence.

Confidence isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up anyway.

4. Our Brains Are Freaking Cool

One of the most awe-inspiring aspects of my work is witnessing the power of neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to change and adapt. Through consistent effort, you can overcome fears, rewrite old narratives, and create entirely new ways of thinking about yourself and your relationships.

Take one of my clients who came to me terrified of initiating intimacy. Through coaching, we practiced small, actionable steps—starting with verbal affirmations and working up to initiating physical touch. Over time, those once-daunting actions became second nature. Their brain literally rewired itself to embrace something that used to feel impossible.

It’s incredible what we’re capable of when we commit to growth.

5. Not Enough People Give Themselves Credit for Their Successes

I’ve worked with countless individuals who’ve achieved remarkable personal and relational breakthroughs, yet they’re quick to downplay their progress.

“Oh, it was just a small step,” they’ll say, or, “Anyone could have done that.” But those “small” steps are the building blocks of massive transformation.

One of the exercises I love to incorporate into my coaching is a “celebration journal,” where clients document their wins—big or small. Whether it’s expressing a boundary for the first time or feeling comfortable looking at their own vulva in a mirror, those moments deserve to be honored. Giving yourself credit isn’t arrogance; it’s self-love.

6. Communication Isn’t Enough

When it comes to relationships, people often say, “Communication is key.” And while that’s true, it’s not the whole story. Communication without active listening and comprehension is just noise.

I’ve seen couples talk past each other, each person too focused on defending their own perspective to truly hear the other. Transforming these dynamics requires more than talking; it demands listening with the intention to understand and empathize.

One couple I coached learned to reframe their arguments by pausing and paraphrasing what the other person said before responding. This simple practice led to fewer misunderstandings and a deeper emotional connection. Remember, communication is a two-way street—both parties need to feel heard.

7. Intimacy Concerns Almost Never Have to Do with Sex

This might sound counterintuitive coming from a sex coach, but intimacy issues are rarely about what happens in the bedroom. They’re about the dynamics outside of it: trust, emotional connection, unresolved conflicts, and unmet needs.

For example, a client might come to me feeling disconnected from their partner sexually, only to realize that their resentment over unequal household responsibilities is the real issue. Addressing these underlying concerns often reignites the spark without ever having to focus directly on sex.

Intimacy is holistic. It’s about how you show up for each other in every aspect of life.

8. All Parties Must Be Willing and Committed for Things to Work

Whether it’s a romantic relationship or a coaching journey, success requires buy-in from everyone involved. I can provide tools, guidance, and support, but if a client isn’t ready to put in the work, change won’t happen.

The same is true for relationships. I’ve seen couples where one partner is fully invested in improving their connection while the other remains resistant. Progress stalls because change demands mutual effort.

It’s not always easy to admit when you’re the one holding back. But recognizing that all parties must be equally committed is a crucial step toward lasting transformation.

9. Patience, Hard Work, and Persistence Pay the F*ck Off

Finally, if there’s one lesson I want to shout from the rooftops, it’s this: stay the course. Growth isn’t linear, and breakthroughs don’t happen overnight. But with patience, hard work, and persistence, transformation is inevitable.

I’ve seen clients go from feeling completely disconnected from their bodies to radiating confidence and joy. I’ve watched relationships that seemed beyond repair blossom into beautiful partnerships. None of it happened instantly, but all of it happened because the individuals involved refused to give up.

Whatever you’re working toward—whether it’s deeper intimacy, greater self-love, or a more fulfilling relationship—keep going. The results will be worth it.

These nine lessons are the foundation of my coaching philosophy. They’ve shaped not only how I guide my clients but also how I live my own life. Sexual empowerment isn’t just about sex; it’s about embracing every part of who you are and showing up fully in your relationships and your life.

If you’re ready to dive deeper into your own journey of self-discovery and empowerment, know that I’m here to support you every step of the way. Together, we can navigate the challenges, celebrate the wins, and create a life filled with connection, confidence, and joy.